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June 3, 2012

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.
She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

He was due in late June. He arrived early. In May, on Memorial Day Weekend. I can hear my grandmother’s voice in my ear, “That’s my Erin. Always full of surprises!” I guess it runs in the family.




I can’t really tell you what I expected from motherhood. I can tell you that I never thought I had the capacity to love someone as much as that little ball of warmth that the doctor handed to me that afternoon. I never thought I would experience something so primal and fierce as that moment. And I really never thought he would grow up so fast.





Troy turned eight on Tuesday. Eight years. So much has changed. It was a lifetime ago, but only a moment ago at the same time.





We’ve had our challenges. The colic. The cardiologist. The pneumonia. The enlarged spleen that sparked concerns of leukemia when he was four. And the autism. Each has shown me strength and a level of patience that I didn’t know I had.



He has grown into an amazing young man. He is the most caring and loyal big brother that any little sister could possibly ask for. He is the young gentleman, responsible and well- mannered at times when it is most needed and least expected. Some days, he is the comedian. Other days, he is still the panicked little boy, overwhelmed by fear or sensory overload. He has his moments still, to be sure. But he has made so much progress. So much growth. I am so proud of him.

Happy Birthday to my little man, who always manages to make me laugh.



Dragon tales and the “water is wide”
Pirate’s sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Sweet dreams

The rocket racer’s all tuckered out
Superman’s in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, will find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Sweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears “Amen,” wherever we are
And I love you

~ Dixie Chicks, Godspeed (Troy’s favorite lullaby)

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