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July 4, 2014

“I almost wish we were butterflies and liv’d but three summer days – three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.”
― John Keats

You won’t find me here much this summer. We’ve been busy, soaking up life. I’m sorry to say you won’t even find many pictures of our summer here yet. We’ve been so busy enjoying this young summer, I’ve forgotten to document it.

But really, isn’t that the point? To soak it up in such deep breaths that there is no need for pictures because those moments simply become imprinted on your heart in ways that no two dimensional image ever could?

We’ve started kayaking together around the local pond near our house. Each of us has our own boat, except Mary who sits in front of me on mine. She loves it. The kayak is low enough to the water that she can run her little hands through the water as we move. Her giggles and squeals of delight mingle with the sound of the kayak cutting through the water as eagles soar above us and great blue herons startle out of their hiding at the edge of the water, opening their enormous wings and taking flight just over our bow. Sometimes we drift in the middle of the pond, while other times we skirt just under the overhanging tree branches on the edges, the leaves on the gently bending boughs tickling Mary’s outstretched fingers as we float by. This is ecstasy.

Troy has been dirt biking every chance he has, sometimes just around our property, other days on grand adventures with Daddy. They load the bikes into the back of my husband’s 1965 F100 and head to the trails. Other nights we have been to the drive in movies. Some nights it’s just me and the kids in my minivan. But when Daddy comes, he brings the truck. Every time they venture out in this magical vehicle, he comes home with reports of which drivers of what cars complemented them on their amazing truck. And each time I smile, enojoying the predictable nature of his excitement…. The way he crinkles his nose, squeezes his eyes in excited blinks and pumps his arms down at his sides as he tells the stories. I fall in love with this man child all over again….

Joyce has been soaking in the lazy days of summer with her netflix. It would seem she memorized each show as she watches it, quietly repeating each word a character utters just behind the script. Her language is increasing in leaps and bounds. Her expression, once translated though these scripts is amazing. She loves kayaking too, she loves the taste of freedom it gives her. She can lead us, exploring the little coves and bays in our tiny lake. She is becoming so independent, so wondrous.

We’ve been busy. And it’s only going to get busier. We are due for another seaside vacation with my family, once this hurricane lets up. We are planning trips to DC, a repeat trip to Gettysburg- we were just there a couple weeks ago for a Wheelhorse Tractor Collectors Club Fair – these are the kinds of things you find yourself doing for your kids- especially when said kid has an Aspergers style obsession with a certain thing. 😉 We now have a season pass to a local amusement park, that has such wonderful accommodations for our kids, that I have been able to take them there for the day on my own. And of course, in my “down” time I’ve been working diligently, planning and replanning our top secret mission to that amazing place that did so much for my kids, especially Mary, the last time we snuck down there.

But tonight, as I was tucking my youngest into bed, I was struck by the enormity of what we have been given. So many times we were told that we might not make it here. That we might not be able to enjoy what we are now enjoying with these amazing children. Too many parents, including some friends, won’t tuck their children into a peaceful sleep tonight. Some are sleeping fitfully next to their little ones in hospital rooms. Others have only a grave site to visit. And me? How on earth did I get so lucky? How did I get to have these ones? The gratitude some nights is just so overwhelming. How many times were we told to prepare to outlive her? All those things that were supposed to happen, and just didn’t….. Sure, we have some struggles. But I see so much in this community. So much heartbreak….. So much isolation…. So much sadness… So much fear…. So much hope…. So many triumphs….. So much beauty….. So much love….

It overflows. The love, the pain, the beauty, the gratitude…..

It overflows in the blessing of one soft good night kiss on the cheek of a sleeping angel.

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silverstein


(Image is of the three most amazing children in the world, standing at a cannon on the battlefield in Gettysburg, where we did a quickie visit after our pilgrimage to the Wheelhorse Collector’s Club Festival)

4 Comments leave one →
  1. July 7, 2014 3:07 pm

    This is lovely. Struggles abound but we are indeed blessed!

  2. July 14, 2014 2:05 pm

    Beautiful post! You are amazing, not only with your children but also with your words. God bless you all!

    • July 14, 2014 2:57 pm

      Aww, thank you. Blessings to you as well. xoxo

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